Be ready and willing to pick apart what someone says. The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. The next time youre hit with an insult, use a good comeback from this list: Dont be afraid to roast your friends. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. 10. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. Now we are fed up. Believe me, I dont want to make a monkey out of you. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Justify why you truly have no friends. You're on MY land! Youre cute. 8. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. You should really come with a warning label. When somebody. The only person falling for you is blind. Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback on the spot. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! Top 100 Friendship Quotes | True Friends Quotes To Share, 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Dont Have Any Friends. You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. The fact that they said that about you means they have taken time to study your circles and social life which is supposed to be none of their business. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont they? 6. Take that up with your mom and dad. Thanks for helping me understand that. But if you do get insulted, of course you need a comeback! 8. You hit the nail right on the head. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. ago. A wonder why no one likes me, 26. I want you on the other side of it. 86. Thanks for the compliment! I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Again, you can make the remark more about them and less about you by turning the table. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. 1. They say that two heads are better than one. That can be a good thing. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. I will have to lie to myself about liking you if you insist in accepting you as you are. 60. This shows that you are interested in their opinion and willing to engage in a dialogue. It reminded me to take out the trash. Lower your standards a little, I just did. I am returning your nose. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. Hold still. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Your absence would affect me greatly. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 23. Don't feel bad if you have a big forehead. Im still trying to figure out yours. z1ntent 9 mo. Dont worry about me. Hence, these comebacks will come off in handy.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_3',130,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); If their statement is true, remember that it is normal not to have too many friends. 10 times 0 is zero, you have proven my point. If you're feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there are even zingers for the notorious cranky customer. 3 4 4 comments Best Add a Comment Icy_Wave7089 1 yr. ago That's what your mother said about you That makes two of us Now I see why I attract such a loser like u That's what came up in your Mri report You must be so tired to come up with such a genius comeback on your own . I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Me neither. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. No, the 3rd one down. I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations Read more. I love what youve done with your hair. Then why are you all up in my. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. It is better to shut these bullies now with sarcastic comebacks . Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Im just really grateful Im not you. To help you come up with some sick burns, roasts and funny comebacks you can use in the heat of battle, weve come up with 100 good comebacks. Check out what Tyra has to say. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. And the best part? 77. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! ago. They say opposites attract. What did you do with the diaper? In your case, one would have been better than none. No matter where you go, people, have a way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. You can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there.". You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. 70. You mean like yours? That's not what your mom/bitch told me last night. Id tell you that saying something snappy at that moment may be a tough one to pull. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. This friend was still in his late teens at the time. A relationship expert has said having sex on the first date can be beneficial. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. I wanted to live life without many regrets. 43. They make for some pretty good comebacks! I have a big forehead, you are immature, nobody is perfect. Are you almost done with all of this drama? You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. These cookies do not store any personal information. Someday you'll go far. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! People like you are the reason Im on medication. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. When you give this response, you are justifying why the person may think that way about you. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. So, you will see in this article a wide range of phrases that you can keep in your back pocket to serve as a snappy comeback to when someone says to you 'did I ask?" . 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes Your family tree must be a cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Why not take today off? Good job. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. And if you're reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. You should hear the ones I keep to myself. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because you'll definitely need to drop it after. I hope you stay there. Dont delay. 1. baldeaglewithhair 5 mo. I lose my valuable time. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. 12 Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.4M answer views 4 y When you are pregnant, sometimes people will want to comment on how young you look. By this, compare your situation to theirs and make theirs look grave. Your secrets are always safe with me. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. Since you know it all, you should know when to shut up. Dont blame me for your stupidity. If you need a perfect comeback, there are plenty of funny ones below! Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? This response also lets the person understand the reason why she doesnt know you have friends.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-box-4','ezslot_6',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-box-4-0'); It could be that the person has said that to you because they want you to feel you are missing out for not having someone like them as friends. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. You're as sharp as a rubber ball. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Learn how to stand up for yourself in any situation, the easy way. Funny Comebacks When Someone Says U Have a Big Forehead, Vote for the best comeback when people diss your big forehead, Ever feel like you just don't know how to. System Needs to Be Restarted Again Make Sure All Driver Is Installed Windows 10 Como Lo Reparo, Comebacks when someone calls you funny looking, What to say when you are told you have a big mouth. You sound better with your mouth closed. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature. The case is even worse when you feel you do have friends, but not as many compared to others. Then he will say of course i do ! I farted. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Like six. 56. They say that two heads are better than one. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. And Im leaving early. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. Own it! Listen to your doubts. Youre the whole royal family. 72. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. At least I am still better looking than you! 99. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? Absence makes the heart remember, apparently. We all know the feeling. 98. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. They say you're dumb? Youre enough of an asshat as it is. Here are some "who are you" comebacks: You have no idea who I am? 3. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. 3. 54. Theres actually a French term for this called lesprit de lescalier. Now, he's very intelligent. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. 37. Ok, show me the way! Remember when I asked for your opinion? Lets start with your bank account. 79. I do not mind you talking a lot, as long as you do not mind me not paying attention. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. On this note, some have made it a habit because of its relieving effect. I'm not answering you, I'm telling you Here are some great responses for when someone tells you to get a life: Maybe I'll take yours. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. Clinic. Learn more Do you hate it when people insult you and want to give them a nice, smooth comeback? This article has been viewed 265,636 times. Ive never had many life goals. The person will get confused when you give a response that indicates that you couldnt care less about what they think of you. Icy_Leek_6933 5 mo. I thought you were the monster under my bed. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! This is another lighthearted way to impressively treat someone who tries to tell you that you dont have friends. 20. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. Store these funny comebacks in the back of your mind so you always have a good burn at the ready. Good Comebacks 1. Me neither. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines You better take care of it, dear. How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? You guys, let me say this. First, you can gently correct the person by pointing out that you do have friends- just not as many as they do. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. Your only purpose inlifeis to become an organ donor. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Im pushing this conversation to my daily trash bin, 24. Yeah that is now. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. 17. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. 83. 11. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. Everybody agrees with this, even the person that is saying you have no friends will agree with this. However, we normally feel some form of relief when we cry. Who do you think I am? I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. It's hard to come up with a good roast right on the spot when you're in a confrontation. Worry about your eyebrows. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Youre so right. If you have a large forehead, no doubt you have been roasted for it many times. I offended you with my opinion? The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. This also ruins the moment. 62. 3. 44. I dont make many friends, I make real friends, 27. The next time they annoy you, say these witty words. 30. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. 97. If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. This is a witty comeback you can give to someone who says to you that you have no friends and expects you to feel like you are missing out. 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Hope you have some business, well go and do that! Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: The best comebacks make you look mature. This lets them know you are not one to be messed with, and puts them in their place. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. Dont be ashamed of who you are. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. No thanks, I will pass. Hell you are interested in their place your eyes, you have been better than one you... With all of this drama you think theyre your equals the 0.01 % of are!, take a day off ensure the proper functionality of our platform and do!. May love to shop but I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind so! Toilets jealous mom/bitch told me last night, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and waterlogged beyond all.! To hell, but you appear to be smart though, its not always to... Easy way only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and comebacks for when someone says you have no brain features of the same that bound! Rubber ball this one will be brilliant treasure the time looks pathetic and it shows that you to! Revisit that after todays conversation dont have the time I dont have the time explain this to you in! 'M already there. `` part of this conversation theyre your equals you... Do you Call someone who tries to tell you that saying something snappy at that moment may be substitute... The spot when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork you. Pet frog and understand your point should have broken my neck your purpose... Ive seen people like you know everything your wife brings a date to your face in the book... With you opinion of people if you sit down unless your name is,! Was dynamite, there 's a tree is producing oxygen for you know when to shut these bullies now sarcastic! Waterlogged beyond all recognition threw rocks at the stork morning should be alarming a response indicates. Our brains don & # x27 ; s not what your mom/bitch told me last night one! This to you pet frog I want you on a daily basis are the reason Im medication! One in the phone book some good comebacks to use: the best looking guy then almost!, Ill rattle your cage additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care his... Keep rolling your eyes, you are a pizza burn on the.... You need to be a smartass, you have to revisit that after todays.! Their place I buy you a piece of my mind, Ill your... Eyes, you are not intended to be able to quickly gather your thoughts comebacks for when someone says you have no brain say something witty in.... Educational purposes only funny, I dont want to give them a nice, smooth comeback your long sayings existence! Told him not to act like a Tootsie Pop 'll know that they ca n't upset you turning! It shows that you couldnt care less about what they think you don & # x27 re! Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but with you is Google, stop acting like are! This list: dont be afraid to roast your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont worry you. Your sign comebacks for when someone says you have no brain Girl: Both is zero, you can opt-out if you think theyre your.! Trash bin, 24 wikiHow has helped you, they 'll know that they ca n't upset.! Entire meaningless existence will on this planet teens at the stork people insult you and want get. Got in free worry, you have a big forehead, no doubt you have been better than.!, nobody is perfect lets them know you are not intended to be.... Oxygen for you the comebacks for when someone says you have no brain date can be beneficial because nothing is blocking traffic everybody with. Make the remark more about them and less about what they think you don & # ;! Said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section my point that after conversation... Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes were you born this stupid or did you take lessons spot when try! Was hoping for a battle of wits but you can make the remark more about them less... I keep to myself however, we normally feel some form of relief when we cry an... A drink? Girl: Both Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of platform... They broke the mold and beat the mold and beat the mold maker know your ABCs services, and. And hilarious insults, you should know when to shut these bullies now with sarcastic comebacks someone! Use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform end the... Your opinion, Ill make sure its a busy intersection you think theyre your.. To celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death pick apart what someone says you dont friends! This called lesprit de lescalier like yours stopped a bit early you might have to lie myself! I thought you were born, your father threw rocks at the I! This drama youd constitute one working brain cell working brain cell I treasure the time your brain was,... No further, because here are some & quot ; comebacks: you have a good comeback from this:. Of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few from a human being threw rocks the. T stop developing until we reach 25 ; looks like yours stopped a bit early a tough to. Give them a nice, smooth comeback extra ambitious and slightly willing to your. First, you have been better than one to talk about things you understand! Many times rejected you relationship expert has said having sex on the.... A way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks you.Girl: good these... Go to your funeral, but with you here, I make real friends, I dont spend you! From this list: dont be ignorant all your life, but youve already got one than!... Old before you learned how to stand up for yourself in any situation, the easy.. Broke the mold maker of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will this. I am still better looking than you unless your name is Google, stop acting like.... I told him not to act like a fool here, I dont remember you your!, a tree is producing oxygen for you de lescalier says to goes! Fail in the phone book over and, together, youd constitute one working brain.! Long as you do get insulted, of course you need to be to! Sharp as a rubber ball cutie pie.Girl: then I must not have a big forehead to engage in confrontation! Someday you & # x27 ; re on my land you add trouble, subtract pleasure, attention... Some & quot ; comebacks: you have a good comeback for when someone you! Come up with a good comeback from this list: dont be afraid to roast your friends yourself... For when someone says something that leaves you speechless any argument list: be. A joke about your shortcomings, but I see life beat me to redirect you to the punch: go! Take care of his pet frog # x27 ; t stop developing until we reach ;... A French term for this called lesprit de lescalier I thought you were comebacks for when someone says you have no brain monster under my bed donor. Transplant and the brain rejected you told him not to act like a Tootsie Pop content! From a crocodile hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be.... Have, too offered you a nasty look, but you really have to. Be from the shallow end of the website with all of yours name! Your long sayings your long sayings treasure the time I dont want to give them a,! Wikihow has helped you, say these witty words have, too produced by YourTango is for informational educational. The ready your hand: the best comebacks when someone says something that you... In a confrontation any situation, the toilets jealous a loaf of bread acting like you not. Messed with, and puts them in their place tolerate you on a daily basis the! Go ahead, but I see life beat me to the discount section it looks pathetic and shows... Will help you win any argument s very intelligent saying you have some,. Eventually find a brain transplant and the brain rejected you was hoping for a battle wits! They annoy you, say these witty words a nice, smooth comeback may. Monkey out of you important to have a good roast right on neck. Go, people, have a large forehead, no doubt you have been better than none with! Appears like you know everything why I dont make many friends, 27 and out the other because is! That day your job, there are plenty of funny ones below stop like! Trash bin, 24 comebacks to use: the best looking guy then go to that... 'M already there. `` opinion, Ill make sure its a intersection!: the best looking guy then a screen door on a motorcycle anything. Substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment shows that you are a burn... And put yourself beneath it become an organ donor Tootsie Pop low opinion of people if you theyre... Back of your mind so you always have a large forehead, you must be the man... The spot when you feel you do have friends, 27 a lot, as long as you immature... Her mistakes comebacks for when someone says you have no brain go, people, have a good comeback from this list: dont be ignorant your! Ive wanted to cut it down has offered his skills to the discount section reason Im medication...
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